Words by Tabitha Austin
I am sitting on the Gate D1, Terminal B floor of the LaGuardia airport, legs crossed forehead furrowed. Over the past half year since I left the Shades team, I have sat myself in front of this blinking cursor in attempts to articulate and externalize my experience with Shades of Noir and always find it difficult. The depth and breadth of my feeling contribute to my avoidance behaviors, but it is compounded by the recognition that, in my daily life, I discover more ways that my experience with Shades informs my professional conduct, perspective and thought. How can I express all of this? In what ways have I yet to realize that SoN has impacted my practice and world view? But the reliance on time for these revelations can be infinite. So, sending off this final salute must coincide with my leaving this departure lounge.
Ironically, I first heard of Shades of Noir in an airport about two years ago, when I met two team members, visual artist Othello De’Souza-Hartley and designer Angie Illman. The two were en route to London from the Black Arts conference in my hometown of New Orleans, and I was moving to London to begin my graduate study in Conservation at the University of the Arts London. It was not long before I was attending SoN events, and within weeks, had applied to the vacant ‘Archival Developer’ role.
The Archival Developer’s primary responsibility would be digitizing the Tell Us About It Collection, and when I was offered the position, I accepted with a rather rigid mindset to fulfill this task. I soon realized, though, that much more would be required of me than the description, and I would gain much more than part-time pay. When I graduated from Shades, I had delivered public talks at international conferences, co-delivered workshops, curated publications, co-designed a new archival platform, in addition to that primary task of digitizing a collection.
The value of working with the Shades team transcends the deep fulfillment that comes with producing deliverables to be proud of with people whom I enjoy and admire. As a member of this family, I have encountered and integrated critical strategies in sustaining stamina and always prioritising community impact in social justice work. One of the valuable strategies I learned is honouring labour. This is an integral part of Shades of Noir ethos: making visible the work of communities who have historically been invisibilised. To acknowledge the strengths and contributions of all individuals in whatever tense- past or present, potential or realized is crucial and evident from public cultural programming down to the closing ‘Salute’! in an email from a team member. Such witnessing establishes true connection within a community as each member is seen, considered and appreciated; it demands accountability and constructive criticism when labour is mismanaged, and it keeps a team invigorated as individual achievement is shared and celebrated. For me, this created a culture in which I could truly take risks, be both challenged and supported.
Honouring labour is my most profound take-away, or rather, take-within from my time with SoN because I soon started noticing how it changed my relationship with myself and others. This (now personal) practice manifests in demanding deserved recognition, speaking with confidence, setting appropriate boundaries, taking and making space, acknowledging both triumphs and failures in professional and personal aspects of my daily life, and I am forever grateful to the ever-evolving and growing family that is SoN. I salute you <3
–Tabitha
