“In creating and writing the show, this is not for dudes. It’s not for white people. It’s the show that I imagined for my family and friends.”

“In creating and writing the show, this is not for dudes. It’s not for white people. It’s the show that I imagined for my family and friends.” Issa Rae.


LOS ANGELES, CA – OCTOBER 06: Actress Issa Rae arrives at the premiere of HBO’s “Insecure” at the Nate Holden Performing Arts Center on October 6, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/Getty Images)

In an interview with Rolling Stones, Issa Rae said the statement above. As a man with a slight crush on Issa Rae and a heterosexual male who loves the show, and watches it every week religiously I can totally understand what’s she saying, and I think she executes this sentiment throughout the show anyway. She doesn’t mean that us guys can’t watch it, we can, but it isn’t telling our story. There are many things that Issa and Molly do that I find dumb and annoying like all my guy friends do, but at times it simply feels like there is something we are not getting, something we’re not understanding. Something my girlfriend and female friends do understand. Like the blowjob scene in last week’s episode, even after rewatching that scene, I still have no idea why she acted like that, but as usual ‘Black Twitter’ came to save the day. To spare those late individuals of spoilers I won’t share the tweet but even though I still feel her actions were uncalled for, I now at least have a slither of understanding as to why she did what she did. Just Like how we have excuses for all of Lawrence’s idiocy and awkward escapades, they too have excuses for Issa and Molly’s actions. Actually, excuses are harsh, I should say reasons. Like in real life, there are reasons for why we do the stupid things we do. The same way I don’t understand why my girlfriend acts a certain way sometimes is the same reason I don’t understand why Issa and Molly make the mistakes they do. There are some things having a penis stops us from understanding, unfortunately, no matter how many times we ask “why?”, maybe we’re just not engineered to understand fully. Insecure gives us guys an inside look into what young black women have to go through: what goes through their heads, how their actions are perceived, how they have to maneuver through their professional careers, relationships and single life; things I don’t think we have any real knowledge of. I mean we definitely hear about it, but there’s a difference between hearing things and seeing things. A lot of us say we understand, but then have an ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ mentality, and most of the time in real life, maybe due to women not wanting to be seen as weak or most likely due to us being completely oblivious, we’re unaware of it. So Insecure really has helped us in that way, as it’s creating a window into the lives of young black women that I don’t think a show has done before, well not in the age of millennials anyway.

Although Issa Rae made this comment, I think she does an amazing job at marketing to her male audiences without making us feel excluded. Every episode of ‘Insecure’ incites great debates between the sexes about the characters and their actions, actions that we have all done ourselves at some point in our lives. I mean I’m sure all of us guys have gone through most of the same experiences that Lawrence has, maybe not the exact moments but definitely times when our masculinity has felt fragile, times where we’ve unintentionally played with a woman’s heart, times when we feel we’ve been played and just times where things aren’t going the way we want them to. As I always say whenever I write a piece about Insecure, which may be too often, is that what makes the show so great is how real and relatable it is.TV is now showing us narratives that we, as black people can relate to and shows like Insecure and Atlanta are at the forefront of this era, and I’m here for it. So even if Insecure isn’t made for dudes like me, I’m still going to watch it every week, I’m still probably going to stick up for Lawrence and I’m still going to talk about the last episode non-stop until the next one comes out.